Funny encounters of an escort

As a continuance to our funny blog experiences. Some of our Birmingham escorts tell us about the times when they had a ‘not so normal’ encounter. I offer many services to my clients. Although, I tend to specialise as a fetish escort. A few years ago I was booked by a middle-aged man for a 2 hour outcall booking. He said at the time of booking that he wanted to do anal. That is nothing strange for me. I am regularly booked by clients who want to do anal. Normally, their partners are not really interested in this. What I didn’t realise was that he actually wanted me to use a strap on and do him instead of him doing me. I wasn’t prepared for this kind of encounter and didn’t have my toys with me. He ran downstairs and came back up smiling. In his hand was a carrot! He then proceeded to explain that he sticks a carrot up his bum whenever he wants to feel that kind of stimulation…who was I to say no? Food sex hasn’t been the same for since then. One of my encounters with a client was going well. We were enjoying making out in his bed (a single), I was sat on top of him in the reverse cowgirl position. He said he wanted to move into the spooning position. We tried to roll over into the new position without him coming out of me. Neither of us had realised that we had misjudged the size of the bed. The pair of us ended up falling out of the bed and landed on the floor in a crumpled heap of legs and arms. After a couple of seconds we both burst out laughing and continued whilst lying on the floor. An awkward situation. A regular of mine wanted me to pour hot candle wax on his testicles. I knew that this experience is quite painful, so I tried to dissuade him and convince him to let me pour it on a lesser sensitive part of his body. He was adamant that he wanted to try it. He had seen it in a film and thought it would be exciting to try. Anyway, long story short. The pain was too much for him to handle and he ended up sitting on the ice bucket trying to cool his balls down. I have had sex with men who have been circumcised, and also with men who haven’t. To be honest, there is not much difference in the sensation, so I don’t have a preference. I was giving a blow job to one of my clients, when suddenly, I tasted a metallic taste in my mouth and my client started screaming. It turns out that he had been having problems with a tight foreskin since being a teenager. Whilst I was sucking him off, the foreskin retracted so much that it split open. OK, so maybe this wasn’t a funny experience. But it is certainly one of my most memorable ones. An overweight client of mine was on top in the missionary position. He was really going for it,but his arms were starting to tire. So, he lowered down slightly until our bellies were touching. The only problem there is that it can cause a bit of noise with the skin slapping together. Obviously, that is not the funny part. The farting sounds that started from the air being pushed past the tight space made us both burst into a fit of giggles. I was at an outcall appointment. The client whose house it is had a couple of dogs. As we were going to be upstairs, he closed them in the living room with a child’s safety gate to keep them there. Anyway, we were upstairs having a great time when suddenly, I felt something wet and cold on my leg. One of the dogs was obviously not happy at being closed in and had decided to jump the gate. The mood wasn’t quite the same afterwards.